Online Dating – The Elimination of Mere Mortals

In order to understand you and find your perfect match,  online dating services ask you a number of questions about your potential mate – age range, height, education, income bracket, profession, etc.

 For many of us, we hadn’t really considered all lot of those questions before; we simply waited for cupid’s arrow to hit us with that elusive mind-numbing chemistry. But now it’s like “I get a choice? How exciting”. And then we set about to “build” the perfect partner.

 Oh yes, I’d like him to be tall, have all of his hair, have a great job, lots of money, be very good looking, fit and able to leap tall buildings in a single bound. This is great – it must be possible or they wouldn’t have asked me for my criteria.

 Then we sit at our computers and wait for our dream man. From the first flirt, wink, carrot or smile that pops up we start to measure that prospect against our shopping list. Nope – next.  One or two may spark our interest so we “chat” with them and finally agree to meet. Over a 15 minute coffee we can determine that he’s not perfect. Nope – next. And on and on it goes. And finally we conclude there are no decent single men left.

 Men are no different. They build their version of a perfect women and then weigh all the out of focus pictures, out-dated online pictures against their criteria. I’m not sure they even read the profiles. After the initial meeting the response is typically the same – “she’s OK” – which is an implied “not perfect” and so he goes back to his computer hunting down the perfect one. Day by day becoming more and more disillusioned.

 Before online dating most people may have known of a handful of singles now suddenly there are 500 people in the city that match his or her criteria. Singles now feel entitled to the best – they are unwilling to “settle” and so they remain single. We’ve eliminated the mere mortals from our potential dating pool and are chasing after the perfect one.

 And, why not? We’ve worked hard for what we have; we’ve been through a lot and we certainly aren’t going to go there again. We are perfect; why shouldn’t our partner also be perfect.

 What? You’re not perfect? Most people would have a hard time admitting that they are perfect so why expect others to be? Why are we so quick to focus on the other person’s shortcomings rather than his or her uniqueness?

 Has online dating really helped or hindered the process? I’d love to hear your feedback about using online dating services.

 Wanda runs Soul-Mates Matchmaking and Dating Services. She has created The Full Throttle Dating Program, guaranteed to give you the focus, strategies and resources to find a great match.

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